Now that it’s three months since I had Wesley, I should
finally get around to writing about my postpartum recovery which I was
meaning to do!
In the hospital: After giving birth,
I was so relieved but also my muscles were super sore. Luckily I had
the after baby high for a bit but when that wore off, my body ached. My
sweet nurse offered to draw me a bath to help relax the soreness and oh
my gosh that was the BEST IDEA EVER! I felt so much better afterwards.
One thing about doing it unmedicated was that my recovery was so much
easier! I could walk around easily and no spinal headache like I had
with Eli. We were even thinking about leaving the hospital earlier than
the usual 48 hours but I’m glad we didn’t. It gave Wesley a little bit
more time to adjust and I got some more breastfeeding support. So we
stayed Saturday night and Sunday night. Monday morning, I woke up to my
milk having come in very strongly. With a nipple shield and a hand pump,
we were able to at least relieve me a bit. I did have some trouble with
anxiety on Saturday and I think that was a bit exacerbated by my milk
coming in.
At home: The first week was quite
hellish. I have figured out that my body does NOT react well to the
abrupt change in hormones after having a baby. I did not know what to
expect when I had Eli so I crashed and burned because of it. Luckily,
this time I just slipped and fell a bit. I struggled with anxiety and I
could almost feel the hormones in my body causing it. It led to me
struggling to sleep even when circumstances allowed me to. This also
made my anxiety get worse. I went to my OB office and they gave me some
medicine to help cope which it did but only after a few days. The
anxiety peaked Thursday night when I was up all night long having panic
attack after panic attack. It was like my body was on overload and would
not calm down. This led to depression starting to creep in along with
bad thoughts which scared me but because of Eli, I wasn’t taken off
guard. When morning came, we decided to take me to the ER so that I
could reset. I talked with a counselor and they gave me some stronger
medicine there that would help me sleep right away. I was able to sleep
for 6 hours straight while my angel mom, husband, and aunt helped take
care of the boys. This reset plus the other medicine starting to work
helped me feel better. Also the hormones leveling out probably made the
biggest difference.
Overall, this time was a ton better than with Eli. I
was able to catch things earlier, had extra help with Adam off work and
my mom staying with us, and I was able to have a better perspective on
things. With Eli, it surprised and scared me to feel so out of control
which made the depression worse. Plus I didn’t have as much help and
Adam wasn’t prepared for it. This time around, I knew that my body was
going through major changes so I didn’t expect to feel like myself.
Mostly I just needed to find a way to calm my body down so it didn’t
react as if the house was on fire. I only needed to take something to
help me sleep for a few days until things got better. Even though
postpartum is difficult no matter what, I think I can safely say I
haven’t had postpartum depression this time! I am so glad because it has
allowed for me to bond with Wesley better and establish breastfeeding.
Hopefully, I will be able to use these tools to have an even better time
with any future babies! Even if my body seems to be allergic to
postpartum hormones haha
