My Postpartum With Wesley

Now that it’s three months since I had Wesley, I should finally get around to writing about my postpartum recovery which I was meaning to do!

In the hospital: After giving birth, I was so relieved but also my muscles were super sore. Luckily I had the after baby high for a bit but when that wore off, my body ached. My sweet nurse offered to draw me a bath to help relax the soreness and oh my gosh that was the BEST IDEA EVER! I felt so much better afterwards. One thing about doing it unmedicated was that my recovery was so much easier! I could walk around easily and no spinal headache like I had with Eli. We were even thinking about leaving the hospital earlier than the usual 48 hours but I’m glad we didn’t. It gave Wesley a little bit more time to adjust and I got some more breastfeeding support. So we stayed Saturday night and Sunday night. Monday morning, I woke up to my milk having come in very strongly. With a nipple shield and a hand pump, we were able to at least relieve me a bit. I did have some trouble with anxiety on Saturday and I think that was a bit exacerbated by my milk coming in.

At home: The first week was quite hellish. I have figured out that my body does NOT react well to the abrupt change in hormones after having a baby. I did not know what to expect when I had Eli so I crashed and burned because of it. Luckily, this time I just slipped and fell a bit. I struggled with anxiety and I could almost feel the hormones in my body causing it. It led to me struggling to sleep even when circumstances allowed me to. This also made my anxiety get worse. I went to my OB office and they gave me some medicine to help cope which it did but only after a few days. The anxiety peaked Thursday night when I was up all night long having panic attack after panic attack. It was like my body was on overload and would not calm down. This led to depression starting to creep in along with bad thoughts which scared me but because of Eli, I wasn’t taken off guard. When morning came, we decided to take me to the ER so that I could reset. I talked with a counselor and they gave me some stronger medicine there that would help me sleep right away. I was able to sleep for 6 hours straight while my angel mom, husband, and aunt helped take care of the boys. This reset plus the other medicine starting to work helped me feel better. Also the hormones leveling out probably made the biggest difference. 

Overall, this time was a ton better than with Eli. I was able to catch things earlier, had extra help with Adam off work and my mom staying with us, and I was able to have a better perspective on things. With Eli, it surprised and scared me to feel so out of control which made the depression worse. Plus I didn’t have as much help and Adam wasn’t prepared for it. This time around, I knew that my body was going through major changes so I didn’t expect to feel like myself. Mostly I just needed to find a way to calm my body down so it didn’t react as if the house was on fire. I only needed to take something to help me sleep for a few days until things got better. Even though postpartum is difficult no matter what, I think I can safely say I haven’t had postpartum depression this time! I am so glad because it has allowed for me to bond with Wesley better and establish breastfeeding. Hopefully, I will be able to use these tools to have an even better time with any future babies! Even if my body seems to be allergic to postpartum hormones haha

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July Update

Here is how this past month went!

Adam: turned 29 this month!! We celebrated by having a get together with some family in the afternoon and then that evening we went to find a spot to watch the local fireworks show (while trying to avoid parking and traffic). The day after he got a special visit from his brother Seth and his family. That was probably his favorite birthday gift because we had someone to play games with haha. He also went back to work and has been amazing at balancing his work stresses, home stresses, and lack of sleep. He is a HUGE support for me breastfeeding as well. We kinda gave up on him taking a feeding since I'd have to wake up to pump anyways but he always gets Wesley and brings him to me and also settles him down if he needs it. He is the best husband and father.

Ashley: I spent the first half of the month trying to find a new normal with Adam at work while trying to prepare for family visiting. The second half of the month, I had to find a NEW new normal because my mom had left after staying with us for a month from when Wesley was born. It was kind of intimidating being home all day with the boys by myself at first but we're getting used to it haha. I am SOOOOO grateful that my mom could come and help for such a long time. It was such a sacrifice of her energy and time but made a huge difference in how my postpartum time went.

Eli: has LOVED having family visit. He enjoyed my mom being here and was ecstatic when all of his grandparents were here along with his aunts, uncles, and cousin on my side and two uncles and aunts and a cousin on Adam's side all came to visit this month. Honestly, I was expecting a full on meltdown when everyone left after the blessing but he did so well saying goodbye. He's definitely growing up in a lot of ways! He's especially gotten more into creative pretend play recently. He will often give me cars and have conversations between them and his cars haha. I love seeing his imagination grow and process things. He loves Wesley and hasn't been too jealous of him. More often than not, he gets mad because he wants to do things like hold and feed him but he can't. It will be fun to see if they'll play well once Wesley can actually play haha.

Wesley: turned 1 month old this month! His head control is getting better but still quite wobbly. He also started smiling this month! That of course is my favorite :) He's a good eater except when my milk comes out too fast. Then he unlatches and gets sprayed in the face haha. We're still troubleshooting how to help his perpetual gassiness but we're pretty sure its my overactive letdown. He has started balding on top and looks like an old man. His favorite thing is to sit on my lap with his back leaning against my thighs as I sit with my knees up. He loves to see our faces and that is how we get the most smiles. He still wakes up quite a few times at night but occasionally will go a 3 or 4 hour stretch! He is a super sweet baby and is now over 11 lbs already so he's quickly becoming a chunk!

Special Events This Month
Fourth of July and Adam's birthday as mentioned above :)
We had Wesley's baby blessing! We were so happy that so many family were able to travel to share it with us. We definitely had a packed house that weekend! It was also the first time my whole family had been together now that Jessica is married (and of course Wesley joining us). So we had to get a family photo which was interesting with a kindergartner and a toddler to try and contain haha. It was a fun, crazy, happy weekend!

Wesley's Birth Story

After a month, it’s probably about time for me to write Wesley’s birth story before I forget haha. So here it is!

I had been having inconsistent contractions for days so it was hard to tell if I was close to labor at all. The night of the 15th, my mom, Adam, and I watched a movie and I was feeling really crampy. Not like contractions but like really bad period cramps. My due date was the next day and I was feeling discouraged that I may go late. So we went to bed. Then at about 4:30 am, I woke up with pretty bad contractions. I realized pretty quickly that they were consistent so I woke up Adam to help me through them and time them. I also had to go to the bathroom a ton xP. One of the times I went, there was bright blood when I wiped almost like starting a period which worried me. We called my doula to let her know what was going on and then labor and delivery to check if we should be worried about the blood. They said not to worry unless it was a ton and that I could just come in when my contractions were about 3 minutes apart. I debated taking a bath to help me cope but my contractions were pretty close together so we decided to just go to the hospital. At this point, I started feeling anxiety about going through labor again. Adam was busy gathering the last of our things so I went upstairs and woke up my mom. She helped me through a few contractions until we were ready to head out.

We got to the hospital about 6 or 6:30 and got settled into our room. My doula Meagan then met us there. They gave me a hep lock (basically a catheter in your vein so they don't have to find one in an emergency but its not connected to anything) and thankfully I didn't need an IV the whole labor. They checked me at 7 and I prepared myself that I wasn’t going to be much but I was at 5 cm! 3 hours and I was already halfway there! For those who don’t know, I was in labor for nearly two days with Eli and I got stuck at 6 cm. Unluckily, I was having back labor again. This worried me but I tried to stay focused on my hypnobirthing. I spent a lot of time either on the birth ball or standing, always leaning on Adam and Meagan giving counter pressure on my back and hips. The nurses and my OB were super supportive of my birth plan and didn’t bother us too much. I did wireless monitoring so I could move around but it kept flipping out of place and then beeping at me which was annoying.

At around 8:50, I started to feel downward pressure and I thought I might be starting to feel pushy but I wasn’t sure. They checked me again and originally I didn’t want them to tell me the result. I said out loud “I’m only at a 5 or 6 aren’t I” again preparing myself for no progress. But I was at a 9! Two hours going from a 5 to a 9 was just the encouragement I needed to believe I could do this. Only problem now was I couldn’t go in the tub anymore :(

So I kept going and worked on breathing Wesley down with each contraction. At this point I did a lot of moaning and standing while leaning on Adam. The contractions were getting more and more intense and I was having more trouble focusing through them. They checked me again at 10:10 and I was mostly 10 cm but I still had a lip of cervix that hadn’t dilated fully due to Wesley being posterior. They offered to break my water to help move things along but I decided against it. So I got to lay on my side with a peanut ball between my legs. This was definitely not as comfortable as being able to move and I was starting to feel out of control. Adam worked hard to keep me calm but I struggled. 

At 11:20, they checked me again and I still had a little bit of cervix left. However this is about the time when my body took control and everything went super fast. I pretty much lost focus completely and started screaming with each contraction. They kept telling me to breathe but I was having a hard time focusing to take a breath so I asked for the oxygen mask to help me. Then my body started pushing without me really trying haha. I could feel him moving so I told them he was coming and at this point, the nurses told me to not push so my doctor could get there. That was pretty much the worst because I couldn’t stop it or hold back so I was just laying on the bed kinda writhing. Meagan came hurrying back from the bathroom when she saw everyone frantically going into our room. My OB barely had time to get a gown on and almost forgot her gloves before she had to catch the baby. I started full on pushing at 11:30 and my water wasn’t broken or bulging. He almost was born en caul (still in the amniotic sack) because the bag was tight around his head but as soon as he started crowning, it broke. Then he was born at 11:34 am.

They placed him in my chest and I got to do a ton of skin to skin. I noticed that his head wasn’t cone shaped and they said that was because he didn’t spend much time in the birth canal since he came so fast. He also had a ton of dark brown hair haha. My OB delayed the cord clamping and even showed me the cord before cutting it just like I wanted. At 11:40, I gave a slight push and delivered the placenta which she also showed me (I think it’s so crazy and cool that my body created an organ to sustain a baby). I only had a small tear enough for one stitch. I mostly just tried to focus on Wesley while they numbed me to stitch it.

I have to say that the hospital (Mountain View in Idaho Falls) and my OB (Dr. Huggins) were AMAZING at following my birth plan. Pretty much everything I wanted they did and never pushed on anything. I had the natural birth that I was wanting and the after birth care that I didn’t get with Eli. They didn’t do any checks or anything until at least an hour after he came out so he just stayed on my chest. He didn’t cry but just was breathing calmly. After his checks (weighing 6 lb 10 oz and measuring at 19 inches), I was super sore so they suggested I take a warm bath which felt amazing! Then they moved me to a postpartum room where we spent a couple days. Here's a post about my recovery.

Overall, I am so glad I got to have a natural unmedicated birth. Was it crazy hard? Yes. Especially the last part where I lost control of my body. Thankfully that was one of the shortest periods. But the recovery was SO much easier than with Eli. No episiotomy, no spinal headache from the epidural, and no trying to shower with a big bandage on my back. Even though a part of it was luck of a smooth circumstance, I am so proud of myself for accomplishing my goal of doing this. And thank goodness the labor was only 7 hours rather than 40!! Thank you Wesley for coming faster than your big brother haha :)

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