Fearlessly Falling Into Place: Our September

I really appreciated everyone's response to my last post. I was so worried about sharing that much of what I was dealing with but I know it was the right thing to do. So many people reached out to me and shared their experience with postpartum depression and anxiety. Thank you for showing I am not alone.

Here's how the month has been for each of us!

Adam: He has been amazing. He helps out so much with Eli and around the house while still finding time to support me through the PPD, do homework, and work in his jobs. For a little bit he stayed home from his classes to be with me, but luckily his professors have been super understanding and he didn't have to miss too many classes. He is only taking three classes this semester and they aren't too taxing right now. He is taking an advanced instructional design class, a statistics course, and a family history class (just for fun). He is also continuing to work on his master's project. In a couple of weeks, he will be presenting what he's been working on with his team at the regional Asian Studies conference in Salt Lake City! That also happens to be the same weekend as Eli's blessing so it will be VERY busy haha. Adam is aiming to graduate from his program in August 2016 so he doesn't have too much coursework left. Mostly it is just finishing his project. He is continuing to work for BYU Online as well as teach Digital Humanities 215 at BYU. He is enjoying the incoming of the fall season because it also means football season! Eli will learn quickly all about his daddy's love of BYU football :)

Ashley: I am improving every day. Dealing with PPD is rough sometimes as I have occasional bad moments but there are more good than bad. I was lucky to find some medications that are working right now as well as learning some coping skills in therapy. I returned to work at my part-time job at Wasatch Mental Health last week and it went really well. I am happier and less overwhelmed when taking care of Eli because I am able to have that break to what I did before he was born. It also helps to get into a routine of what will be our new normal. Everyone at my work was very excited to have me back which was a good mood booster. Many of the regular clients were excited to see me not pregnant anymore and see pictures of Eli. I am very grateful that at least for now I have the opportunity to work in such a wonderful environment. And Adam has been great at balancing all of the things he does with taking care of Eli while I work. I am hoping that I will continue to feel more like myself while still not being too hard on myself when the PPD/PPA flares up. I have definitely felt the prayers and thoughts on our behalf. Thank you :)

Eli: He is growing every day which is always so shocking to me. Already a month old! He is starting to grow out of his newborn clothes and he's gaining some more baby fat. He is more alert now which has been fun. And this last week he just started to smile! It doesn't happen super often right now but its always so wonderful when you successfully get him to grin :) He does not enjoy tummy time very much but he is getting a lot better with head and neck control when he is vertical. I met with a nurse that works for an in-home program for first time moms and she gave a lot of information and instruction on what we can do to help facilitate his development. I try to do what I can but its not always easy when he gets overtired. Eli enjoys eating, being held, and being allowed to wiggle while laying on his back on a blanket. We can't wait for his blessing in couple weeks so he can meet more of his family :)